Confidence and Tools

“The most important gifts we can give our children are

confidence in their ability to remake themselves again and again and

the tools with which to do that job.”

~ Anders Ericsson

I came across this quote from a 2018 journal.

Every day for the past five years I've practiced journaling.

This was a note I captured in one of my earliest pieces.

At the time, I had been teaching a little over twenty years and coaching a little over fifteen.

I had been a volunteer at our local jail but was still a few months away from becoming the jail chaplain.

Two of my three kids were still at home; my oldest was a senior in college.

My life was very different and very much the same as it is today.

I've grown and evolved, but my life transformations have brought more clarity than deep change.

This man I am has always been here.

He just seems to be finding his way.

He has more confidence.

And more tools.

Working with kids and adults has taught me many lessons.

One of those lessons is that we all have treasures and gifts to give.

We are all responsible for taking ownership of our growth, but we have to go further.

We are also responsible to share in the lives of others.

We don't necessarily have great answers or need to give our advice.

But we do have experiences to share.

And that begins by giving others our attention.

It's easy to look at the roles I fill and make assumptions.

My titles are teacher, coach, and chaplain.

It sounds like I should have answers.

And in a sense, I do.

But in a less obvious way.

I am not in these roles to give answers.

I use these roles to support.

To provide some tools and help instill confidence.

Confidence in taking steps forward into growth.

Confidence to remake oneself over and over again.

This holds true for kids and for adults.

I serve in the role of teacher.

But my job is not to give knowledge.

It is to use wisdom to share tools and to inspire confidence.

Then to share in the experience and inspire the remaking of self.

This is true for those I work with.

This is true for me.

As I look back over those years of journals, this man is there.

Growing and developing.

And even deeper is another man.

One that is waiting to be remade.

If I have the confidence, seek the tools, and trust the process.

Again and again.

This is the most important gift I've been given.

Yes, Anders, it is the most important gift I can give.

Thank you for this reminder, five years later.

And I'm sure I'll need it again in another five.

Background photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash