From Wisdom to Wonder

Every Sunday evening, I sit in jail, looking at a piece of paper.

The paper has the date and "Prayer Requests" hand printed at the top. In a moment, this paper will be passed around the room, stopping with each man who will write his name and a few words. Following the service, I will share this paper with the ministry team. And prayer will begin.

I’ve been doing this for a few years now. Going to visit the jail. Sitting with the men serving time, listening to the pastors speak, joining in song and in conversation about life and struggles, addiction and recovery, hopes and dreams, faith and family, obstacles and transformations, pain and healing, and...

Prayer Requests.

So the paper works its way around the room. Each man adds his name and writes a few words, sometimes several lines, and passes the paper along to the next. The paper returns to me, I read the names and the notes. The prayer requests vary...upcoming court dates, plans after their release, addiction struggles, recovery needs, friends and family in need, and spiritual needs. After the service, I will snap a picture of it and send it to a group of men who I know will be in prayer moments after I press “send.”

But before that paper circles the group, I look at it. No names. No requests. I’m always the first to write my name and request. Usually I write some variation about my family, my faith, the community, and for healing and hope. But one thing I ALWAYS write is prayer for “wisdom.” Some days, that is the only word I write. But tonight, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to begin by either telling the guys about this piece or reading it to them. Then I’m just going to write my name and one word. I'm going to write...

“Wonder”

Over the past few months, I’ve been intentional about practicing Presence, Contemplative Prayer, and Mindfulness. Accepting what is without judging. Being more engaged in the present moment rather than drifting to the past or the future. Yes, I’m still seeking wisdom, but I see the pursuit of wisdom as more of a guiding star or a distant shore more than a milestone. Wonder, on the other hand, is within reach at any moment. Wonder is a choice, moment to moment. This choice begins with presence and awareness of right now. We don’t have to wait. There are countless opportunities for wonder and awe. Ironically, that’s a great piece of “wisdom” that I’ve been seeking for so long.

Tonight, as I sit in jail, I plan to sit in presence, in prayer, and in wonder. In the wonder of the flow and transformation of life. In wonder of this community and humanity. In wonder of this world that sustains us. In wonder of Presence in the presence. The Presence, the Spirit of God, that transcends and includes all that is, was, and is to come. I am grateful that I can simply embrace the mystery and motion and movement of life. I am grateful for the pursuit of wisdom and self-actualization. I am grateful for awareness and opportunities to love God and love others. I am grateful for the wonder that I seek, pray for, and find. And I am grateful for the blank page, waiting to be filled. How will you fill your page?

I choose to fill mine with wonder.