Our Story of Stories

We are all writing a story. Every day, we add smaller stories to the big story. When we come to the end, the story of stories of our lives will be complete. The interesting thing is that no one gets to read the full story. No one gets to see the whole book. Even those closest to us only get to see a few pages, a few short stories. Many of our family and friends see a few sentences throughout the book, but never the whole chapter. Several short stories. Never the whole story. We write the story of stories over the course of our lives. Each day is a new page filled with many new stories. We share parts of the story with a select few. Or even no one at all. All day long we fill the page. Living a life that will be the full book. The full story.

Have you ever heard someone repeat a story you’ve told? It’s interesting to listen as an event from your life is summarized and repeated by someone who wasn’t there. They’ve taken bits and pieces and created a narrative. And there we are. The author of the moment with no power over this particular story unfolds. Or have you ever had a story told about you when you are not present? The answer to this is yes. We all have. That too is interesting to consider. We are living our lives and others create a narrative about us. How can they do this? By filling in the gaps, making assumptions and judgements based on previous stories. Creating a conversation based on the short stories they know. We do the same thing. Even though we often know very little, it seems quite human to figure out others and share our conclusions based on how the stories come together.

Over the past year, I’ve attended four funerals. The ultimate closure of the book they’ve written in their lives. We are left with anecdotes and observations. Small quips and sentences, perhaps a few paragraphs, but never the whole chapter. Certainly not the whole story. But there is power in these short stories. We get to learn about each other in a way that helps us learn about ourselves. As the author of my story, I often look back on chapters full of short stories already written. I look ahead to chapters and short stories waiting to unfold. But I don’t think I spend enough time fully engaged in each short story in the present, as the black lines work their way across each page. But while I’m living the story, others can catch a glimpse that will build part of their narrative about us. And they can hear stories that I share with them, and stories that others share with them.

Consider those closest to you. You know enough short stories to write a pretty good narrative. You can do the same with others you know less well. We humans find each other pretty interesting. We humans also like to size each other up and understand each other. We do this with the accumulation of short stories. We don’t always think about others doing the same with us, though. As I think about sitting in those funerals, I can see how I replayed so many short stories about their lives. Stories I’ve witnessed, stories they’ve told me, stories others have told me about them. And it has started to occur to me that they are the authors, and we are the storytellers. Sometimes the stories are amazing and beautiful. Sometimes the stories are sad and unfortunate. But it’s all part of the greater story of our shared humanity.

So here we are, telling and sharing our short stories. You have a sense of mine, I have a sense of yours. I think that this is a good reminder that we should take care in sharing what we know about each other. We should consider the impact and consequences of the stories we share. We need to consider the purpose of our sharing. Are we building others up or tearing them down? Would we tell these stories in their presence? If these were our stories, would we want them to be shared? I know my story, but I have no power over how my story is told. All I can do is try to live my stories well and help others do the same. Or as I’ve heard, to love others as I love myself. Let’s consider this the next time we have an opportunity to tell a piece of someone else’s story. Is this how we would like our story to be shared?

Let’s continue to share the short stories.

Let’s continue to love the story authors.

Let’s write a story we would love to hear others tell.

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash