The Audacity of Hope and Joy

I started coaching tennis about twenty years ago. I was a former tennis player, and the school was starting a new junior high tennis team. My former coach encouraged me to take the position. I knew nothing about coaching and to be honest, very little about tennis. But with support from my former coach and my JH Athletic Director, I stepped onto the court with a brand new title: Coach Miller.

At that point, I had been teaching elementary school for about five years. So I was pretty comfortable stepping outside my comfort zone and trying things out as I was learning. And in coaching, I was learning every day. Usually, what not to do. I had a small group of kids with patient, supportive parents so the first year went well. The following year, I took on a co-coaching position at the high school as well. So I coached junior high boys and girls in the fall and high school girls in the spring. A dual role that I would continue for the next ten years.

Each year I learned a little more with no idea how long this coaching thing would continue. And as my kids grew older, I knew it would be fun to teach this sport to them and coach them in junior high. Through the years, each of my three kids came up through the junior high program. As each of my kids progressed, I was learning to be a better dad/coach. As my youngest entered high school, I stepped away from my junior high coaching role and two other former players stepped in to fill the roles. One coached the boys, one coached the girls, and I stepped into an assistant role for the high school boys program.

For the next four years, I was an assistant in the fall for the boys and maintained my coaching role with the girls' team in the fall. Originally, I thought I would step back from coaching girls after my own girl left, but I enjoyed working with the team, and the program that had developed. So I continued to work with my son in the fall and develop the girls' team in the spring. No real pressure. Just enjoying the experience. Then something funny happened.

Let's take a step back. About fifteen years ago, I was ready to quit coaching. Both our high school team and our junior high teams were small. And we weren't very good. At the junior high level, we rarely won. Being a small school, we had to play big schools. Small schools simply didn't have tennis programs. So I was teaching these kids as beginners. The big schools we played had kids already taking lessons and attending tennis clinics. It wasn't a huge advantage, but enough to leave us with several early years of winless seasons. The high school programs weren't much better. We didn't have the athletes or the buy-in. And I was ill-equipped to move us ahead.

So I decided to quit. Or at least that was the thought. I had to either get away or get better. I decided to get better. I reached out to the Indiana University Tennis Center and started taking coaching lessons from a teaching pro. I also began attending coaching clinics. Little by little, I learned. And a funny thing happened. Our teams started getting better. I started "recruiting" kids to the sport and trying out things I'd learned from the lessons and clinics.

Then things got really interesting. At one clinic, the IU men's coach spoke. After the session, I asked if I could come to watch their team practice. He agreed and invited me onto the court with him and his assistant. I was a sponge and my eyes were opened. This was a fantastic experience. Even more so, he invited me to assist him with his summer tennis program. I also started working with the IU women's coach and his summer program as well. I took my kids. And a few other Brown County kids. We all learned. We all got better. And here I was, a "veteran" coach, finally learning how to coach.

In the years that followed, our tennis program developed and grew and improved. My own kids enjoyed the sport and improved greatly. Then came this new turning point. The point where my daughter moved on to play college tennis and my son entered the high school program. This would have been a good point to step away from the girls' program, but I was still enjoying it. So I continued on, assisting with my son's team and coaching the girls' team. Along with developing the program, I developed into a competitive coach. I was teaching fundamental techniques and strategies. I was working with the kids year-round. I wanted our kids to win.

As my daughter left the program, I noticed something peculiar. I backed off. I still worked on developing and preparing the team, but my focus shifted more to building relationships. That was always the part I loved most. Now, about sixteen years in, this is where I set my attention and intention. I was content to love the experience. Not worried about the results as much as enjoying the process of teaching and connecting and watching these kids and their parents learn to love this sport. I still brought my competitive spirit to the court, but I learned to focus on the kids' experience first and foremost. And good things continued to happen.

For the past ten years, we have had a successful tennis program for both boys and girls at both the junior high and high school levels. But this spring season, I entered with no expectation of a great season. I just kept doing what I was doing. Developing connections and relationships with the kids and their families. I enjoyed just watching them play. I enjoyed watching the parents watch their kids play. I even enjoyed watching the other teams' coaches, players, and parents. I was more fully present and engaged. And I more fully appreciated the opportunity to work in this role. With this title: Coach Miller.

I recently read Ryan Holiday's book, Courage is Calling: fortune favors the bold. I have also been saying the Serenity Prayer during my daily meditations. And I have been thinking about audacity. The boldness to trust and have faith. To be open to surprise and have hope. And I have been thinking about how these all flow together so nicely in life and in coaching. As this most recent season progressed, we started playing really well. We started having great results. In fact, we even finished our conference season with a co-championship. We are in a strong, competitive conference and this is one of our best records and finishes to date.

The key to our success this year, I believe, is audacity. I had the audacity to trust the system and embrace the process. To be present and fully engaged with no expectation other than doing the daily work and enjoying and connecting on a deeper level. The kids had the audacity to work and believe and have hope. We all had the audacity to step forward with courage and dogged optimism. And as a result, this has been a successful season. A season I embrace and will continue to embrace.

Twenty years ago, I had the audacity to step into this role. Fifteen years ago, I had the audacity to continue. Ten years ago, I had the audacity to get better. Five years ago, I had the audacity to continue. And now, I have the audacity to simply enjoy the moments in front of me. I don't know how much longer I will continue to hold the title of Coach Miller, but I do know that I am grateful for the moments and gifts this title and this role have given me. And I am grateful for the audacity of hope and joy and the love of coaching.