The Invisible Gift

“...beside my chair, is a French sentence from Saint-Exupery’s Little Prince. It reads, ‘L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.’ What is essential is invisible to the eye. Well, what is essential about you? And who are those who have helped you become the person you are? Anyone who has ever graduated from a college, anyone who has ever been able to sustain a good work, has had at least one person, and often many, who have believed in him or her. We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others.” ~ passage from Fred Rogers’ 2002 Commencement Speech at Dartmouth College.

This passage came to mind this week as we said goodbye to a dear friend to all, Charlynn Williamson. Like hundreds of others, I was a recipient of Char’s love and kindness and presence. I was given the gift of knowing and sharing time with the embodiment of “loving God...and loving others.” This is the essence of living and she understood that. Invisible to the eye but essential. Invisible but known because of those who believe in us.

She Made Me Laugh

I was maybe 7 years old in the basement of the church. The room was filled with kids and noise and singing and laughing and joy. The ringmaster of this kid circus was Char, leading music on piano, making us all laugh with silly songs. Then we’d sing some serious songs. Then we’d talk about God and Jesus and the Bible. There would be stories about how to live life and make good choices. We’d make some crafts related to the stories and have some snacks. Of course, we never left without those big loving hugs. It didn’t matter what kind of a morning we had, we always left children’s church happy and laughing, probably a little loud, and always genuinely loved.

She Made Me Smile

I was her height, as she sat and as I stood beside her. In third grade, I remember going to her chair at the front of the room to present my work and ask questions. I was a very shy kid. Really. I know, right? But for kids like me, it could be intimidating to go to talk with teachers. I never felt that way with Char. There was something special about standing by Char (or “Miss Williamson'' in those days). I just liked being near her. I’ve thought about it and I really can’t remember anything specifically that she said to me, but I know very well how she said everything. With a smile and with love. It’s like Carl W. Buehner said,

“They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

And Char made me feel loved.

She made me feel happy.

She believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.

And she made me smile.

She Made Me Slow Down, Look, and Think

We became parents at about the same time, so Jill and Nathan and I spent a lot of time with Char and Whit. And this time together continued as we added Hallee and Josh to the team. Our two families became one big family. Char would absolutely glow as she watched the kids play and talk and laugh and have fun. She was completely immersed in the moment. As parents, Char was a beautiful role model of how to be fully present in the joy of parenting. As much as she loved her kids at church and her kids at school, she was radiant as she watched our kids just be kids. She “got it” so much more quickly than I did. The beauty of life. The beauty of each moment. As Rob Bell might say, I was busy trying to catch butterflies so I could pin them down and examine them and figure them out. Char, on the other hand, was lost in the beauty of the butterfly’s flight. She was present. She loved life and God and Whit and us. ALL of us.

She Deserves a Gift

To continue with Fred Rogers’ speech, consider the gift.

“I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Some of them may be here right now. Some may be far away. Some...may even be in Heaven. But wherever they are, if they’ve loved you, and encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you, they’re right inside your self. And I feel that you deserve quiet time, on this special occasion, to devote some thought to them. So, let’s just take a minute, in honor of those that have cared about us all along the way. One silent minute.”

Do that now. Take one moment.

Close your eyes.

Embrace this moment and this gift.

Fred continues, "Whomever you’ve been thinking about, imagine how grateful they must be, that during your silent times, you remember how important they are to you.”

My invisible gift was the moment with Char. Just being. Loving. Smiling. Imagine that. Imagine how Char might feel knowing how many people have been touched and loved and infected with joy because of her. It’s not hard to imagine that she’d be a little embarrassed. She’d likely try to shift the spotlight to someone else. But there is no doubt that big smile would shine bright and those loving eyes would connect deeply. She would be grateful and would probably mouth the words, “thank you.”

Thank you for this moment.

Thank you for thinking of Char.

Thank you for the invisible gift.

This gift may be invisible to the eye,

but it is essential to the heart.

Thank you, Char.